Adoption Isn’t a Way to Get Pregnant

The moment the nurse placed him in my arms, I knew we belonged to each other. All the tears and frustrations of the past several years pooled into a fountain of joy. Now I understood why God has us wait for a baby: So we could have this baby. After my husband and I struggledContinue reading “Adoption Isn’t a Way to Get Pregnant”

Why Waiting Is Good for You

On the floor in front of me, a fraying carpet strand held my gaze. “Don’t look up,” I whispered through gritted teeth. Pushing against the cold metal chair, I leaned forward and buried my nose in an outdated People magazine. The lower I hunched, the less pain I absorbed from this torture chamber known as the waitingContinue reading “Why Waiting Is Good for You”

When Going Requires Letting Go

Sometimes news is good. Sometimes it’s bad. Other times it’s good, but you’re scared to say it out loud. After a year’s worth of prayer and conversations with trusted friends, I decided to stop holding monthly meetings for Graceful Wait. My ministry partner, Ashley, and I are still offering one-on-one support, and will maintain theContinue reading “When Going Requires Letting Go”

I Lift My Eyes to the Microwave

1:30. I punch the numbers and slump against the kitchen counter, waiting. One and a half minutes seems too long. My abdomen is howling, crying out for relief from the cramps. They shoot across my belly, fiery darts skittering through blood vessels and tissue and organs, a jumble of body parts fused together by metastatic disease.Continue reading “I Lift My Eyes to the Microwave”

Weeping with Those Waiting for a Child

I’ve often imagined the scene at the tomb the day after Christ’s crucifixion. The world must have seemed bleak. His family and disciples spent that Saturday grieving the loss of the One they thought would free them. They didn’t know He’d rise in victory over sin and death the next day. In the shadow ofContinue reading “Weeping with Those Waiting for a Child”