It’s Missouri, not misery

After a year-long hiatus, I thought it was time to update the ole blog. Then I procrastinated for a few more months until I felt motivated to write something a bit longer than a tweet or Facebook status.

As most people know by now (if you don’t, you are really out of touch, or maybe just wishing you had received the 2009 edition of the Hesse Holiday Herald, which regrettably was never published), we live in Columbia, Missouri, home of the University of Missouri, where a certain Assistant Professor of Communication Studies is plugging away at his research, well on his way to tenure and its accompanying academic fame and fortune. While Colin is running labs, teaching students, or playing on his university-funded iPad, I’m working from home, continuing to edit articles and do other editorial tasks for the company I worked at in Arizona. The nice part is the flexibility; the downside is the lack of human contact and interaction (Kaffy doesn’t count, and even if he did, he sleeps all day and thus doesn’t make the most engaging companion). But we do have many friends we are thankful for, and they almost make up for the lack of good Mexican restaurants in town.

If you are wondering about Columbia, you should Google it to save me the time of explaining what it’s like. I will say that it’s an exceedingly friendly community with an appreciation for football, the arts, and good BBQ. Several people gave us the line, “You’re going to misery?” when we announced that we were moving here, and I can gladly say that I don’t consider it to be a fair statement, especially after living in the 100+ degree temps of Arizona. Dry heat, humidity – doesn’t matter which; they’re both awful. But the difference is Columbia has four seasons, which is the right kind of climate for two native Washingtonians.

As I said earlier, and would like to repeat to dispel any doubts, we have been blessed with many friends here – Colin’s colleagues, our church small group, and several nice neighbors. We’ve also started helping out with the college ministry at church, leading a small Bible study. It’s great to be around college students and hear about their hopes, dreams, and fears, which reminds us of our college days and alarms us thinking about how long ago that was.

Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t been posting pictures of our kids or updating Facebook with all the cute things they say. This would be due to the fact that we don’t have kids, which I have to say is not for lack of trying. For more than 2 years now we have been in full TTC (Trying To Conceive) mode, with nary a missed period or positive pregnancy test. This, in a word, sucks. I could certainly make the typical Christian statements and say that God’s plan is better than ours; He’s in control; He’ll work it out for our good – all of which I believe are absolutely true but do not always feel that way. Both of us desire to be parents and are not sure when/if/how that will happen, which is a pretty harsh reality to face. Without going into detail about how we got here, I’ll just provide our current status: in an adoption waiting program but on hold as we might be trying in vitro next month. We would like to adopt no matter what, but we would also like to give the fertility treatment route a whirl before things could get worse and my uterus completely craps out.

I decided to share this part of our lives not to elicit several comments of pity – Lord knows I have already shown myself way too much of it – or even to ask for prayer, though that would definitely be welcome. The main reason to let the world wide web know about our infertility is so that other people who are experiencing it know they’re not alone. Infertility makes you feel isolated, like no one understands or even cares about your situation, which is a lie, and one that I bought into because it’s such an emotional issue. I discovered that this was not the case after attending an adoption seminar wherein we met other couples like us and after reading a friend’s blog about her difficulties and setbacks on the road to parenthood. As we started talking to more people about it, we found that many have either experienced infertility themselves or know someone who has. And, according to the CDC, it affects 1 in 8 couples of childbearing age. In light of this, the whole concept of God comforting us so we can comfort others going through the same struggles (2 Corinthians 1:4-5) has become personally applicable to our lives and has demonstrated that there’s at least one good reason why this is happening to us. So we are helping launch an infertility support group at church and hoping it will help others be encouraged and encourage us in the process.

It wasn’t really my intention to make this into an infertility blog, but for the moment it will be, considering that it’s a pretty big deal right now as we prep for IVF in a few weeks. And since Lost is over, I really don’t have much material to work with anymore, save for Kaffy’s misadventures leaving his mark around the neighborhood and going berserk over a fly in our house. I’ll try to provide regular updates on what’s going on, complete with entertaining anecdotes on all the crazy things we’ll get to do, like Colin attempting to give me shots, which promises to be a great video opportunity.

Published by jennhesse

Wife, mother, writer, editor. Content director at Waiting in Hope Ministries. Chai tea fan. Helping you trust God in times of defeat.

6 thoughts on “It’s Missouri, not misery

  1. We were on fertility drugs with all three of our pregnancies, so although the drugs worked for us (eventually) we do personally understand the feeling that infertility brings. I love you Jen and we'll be praying for the right baby at the right time….via the right womb.


  2. If you have any questions at all about IVF, feel free to email or call. (I can message you my phone number if you want, just let me know). I will keep you in my prayers!!! No matter what happens…this will make you stronger as a woman, wife, and as a future mom!!!
    I always knew I would be a mother, throughout my four years of trying…I just didn't know how it would happen…and I didn't care!! You will be a mom!!!!! Love you and praying for you!!!


  3. I'll be praying for you guys. Although I haven't experienced it myself, I can think of few things to go through which would be more painful. Glad to hear an update on how you're doing- it sounds like life is exciting and enjoyable in all other aspects. And good luck with IVF!


  4. I'm glad you disagree with those that told you that you were moving to misery! 😉 Please know that I am thinking of you, and if you ever need some girl time or someone to talk to please don't hesitate to call me!!


  5. Hi Jen, I am a horrible blogger and an even more horrible blog reader. I just found your blog and caught up on your journey. Wow. It's pretty awesome to see pics on FB with you two and precious Calvin…and now the backstory of how God brought you here helps me to be even more thankful for the precious gift he's provided.
    We have three close friends in our biblestudy who are infertile. Two have adopted, one would love to adopt but her husband isn't interested in that or in any medical help/tests. Reading your blog helps me understand how better (maybe?) to encourage them and come alongside them as they try to honor the Lord with this major on-going trial. Thanks for sharing your heart.


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