Our oldest son came to our family through adoption and, as a gift we don’t take for granted, enjoys a strong and affectionate relationship with his birth mother.
To the best of his 7-year-old capacity, he understands that she made a difficult decision to offer him the greatest care possible through a secure family environment, which she didn’t think she could provide at that time. Though he can’t wrap his head around all the reasons, he grasps the love that motivated her actions, and likewise loves her for giving him life and for bringing him into ours.
This deep bond is something we’ve encouraged since our son was born, recognizing that openness in adoption (though not always possible and varying in degrees) can promote healthy attachment. The downside is the sadness that comes when you live far away from one another.
If a child who is securely attached to his parents experiences grief because he’s geographically separated from his birth mother, imagine the psychological damage inflicted on a child forcibly separated from her parents by strangers in a foreign land.
Read full article at ERLC.
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